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i love it when a plan falls apart

March 12, 2005 - 11:43 PM [ life ]

so today was my birthday.

nothing really went as planned.
not that i really planned anything. by nature i'm a planner. i like to take over and dominate and plan things. i have this problem where i think i'm the only one who can come up with a good solution. i don't really like that about myself, so i'm trying not to do that. in fact i'm trying not to plan anything at all. this included my birthday. only things didn't work out the way i wanted them to, so maybe i should have planned afterall.

not to say that things were bad, or not fun. just not how i would have liked them to turn out. but really, i'm just being selfish now. i heard from everyone in my family, as well as a lot of my friends, so really what more do i want? oh wait, i'll tell you. candles i wanted candles. i can't believe how upset i am over this either. i mean afterall, birthdays are kind of dumb thing to celebrate. does anyone really look forward to growing older? especially after you've hit all your legal milestones (18 & 21) so why the hoopla? why do we want the hoopla?

i have no idea, but i wanted it.
i wanted candles and happy birthday singing over said candles.
it's a stupid thing, but i think this might have been the first year i didn't get candles.
poor randall, we got home and he got the bitchy silent treatment, i was being a cliched girl and didn't want to say i wanted candles and said i was fine. i felt like he should just know. i felt like he should have planned something.

but really, i guess i should have.

the whole things started last weekend when fructy said he was going to be in san francisco afterall. he said he'd be there this weekend, and hey could we hang out. i figured perfect, i'll get to see fructy and it'll give me reason to round everyone up for my birthday. so i sent an email out to the SF kids. would they like to join me for drinks on friday. there were (to my surprise) yes's all around.

however, on wednesday (right after i sent out the does anyone want to join me email) fructy wrote and said that he would not be able to make it to SF afterall. it was disappointing news, but i figured, well i can't back down now and besides it was going to be fun.

i didn't know what i wanted to do, and i really don't know nightlife in the city that well, so i let cindy take over. we were going to meet at the 500 club at 7:30 on friday night. have a drink, pick a dinner spot, eat and then drink some more and then possibly go play video games afterwards.

it sounded simple and fun enough, but this is where things go downhill.

originally we were going to leave sacramento around 5-5:15. that would put us in the city before 7. we'd have enough time to park, get settled at cindy's and then head over to the 500club. only we didn't leave sacramento until almost 6:30 (a lot of reasons why, none of which are worth going into). so we didn't get into the city until almost 8pm. which wasn't too bad, we actually made really good time. we dropped our stuff off at cindy's and then went to find parking. THERE WAS NONE TO BE FOUND. none. i have never had such a bad parking experience ever. we honestly, no exaggeration whatsoever, took over 1 hour to find parking. 1 whole hour. i was on the verge of tears and i told randall that i really didn't care and i wanted to go home anyways (this of course pissed him off, because i kept feeling like he didn't really want to come anyway, but was just doing it because i wanted to). right when i was about to give up a spot opened up.

we got to the 500club at 9:15. nearly 2 hours late.
we had a drink and then decided to head over to cha cha cha. when we got there, they laughed at us. 14 people? hahahah. so we walked over to jay's cheesesteaks instead. when we got there, he was just about to close up, but saw 14 people and said KACHING! so he stayed open and let us eat some sandwiches. i had the tomato & pepper cheesesteak. it was a tasty meal, but it was starting to get cold outside and there weren't enough seats out there (we had to sit outside because they had already cleaned the inside and were closing up).

afterwards we decided to go get another drink. cindy wanted to head back to her place to play videogames, but she didn't want to bring the entire posse. i would have felt really bad leaving everyone so i convinced her (and randall) to go get some more drinks instead. at first we tried to go to the latin american club, but it was totally full. then we tried someplace else, i'm not sure why we didn't go in (jessie & her beau were sort of leading the way). eventually after a few sobering blocks later, we ended up at doc's clock.

at this point, i kinda agreed with randall and cindy. videogames sounded much more fun. i was tired of walking, tired of talking and just overall tired (mental note, no more birthday shenanigans after driving 1.5 hours after a full day of work). but i couldn't leave. i had rounded these people up. some had come from the east bay just because i had asked. i already felt like i had disappointed by being so late, i couldn't also leave early now could i? no i could not.

so i stood around drinking and talking and getting drunk and losing my voice. the whole time i kept wishing i had planned something else. something that didn't involve walking, didn't involve yelling in loud bars with expensive drinks and not enough alcohol. but i didn't. i didn't plan anything. i played it by ear. and ears are not very good apparently.

eventually we headed back to cindy's house. ammon (who had swung by really late) gave us a lift back in his car (which was fantastic as i didn't bring a sweater and the fog weather was rolling in) and he also gave me some sake and some chocolate rocks! (choco rocks, who heard of such a zany thing?!)

cindy and randall busted out the warioware inc. for the gamecube and i fell asleep on the couch. i don't know how much time passed before we decided to go to bed.

in the morning i woke up, nostalgic and bleh. last night had been a fiasco and it was great to see a lot of my friends that i never see, but it was just a bit bleh. barely worth the drive.

at around noon cindy, jeremy, randall and i ended up going to crepevine (it's funny to me how crepevine here (and oakland) is so similar to crepeville in sacramento). i had the crab cakes benedict and wish i had ordered a crepe instead.

when we finished with breakfast we headed back to the car and then back to cindy's to pick up our stuff. we drove back to sacramento, randall fell asleep in the car. i almost did. the last 20 minutes are so hard to stay awake during. it's nothing but farmland and it's nothing but boring.

on our way home we stopped in richmond for cutiepie bobo shopping. there wasn't anything worth getting (although randall got an awesome domokun sweatshirt), so we headed home. we didn't get home until almost 5pm.

at around 6:30 my mom called, she wanted to know if she and my dad could take me to dinner (she had asked me it yesterday and i said yes, only i figured it would be around 5:30, not 6:30). so we decided to meet at nishiki's at 7pm. nishiki's is wes's favorite sushi place, so we've been there a bunch. i never noticed that i know the owner, i went to his wedding too...dinner went well, my mom was in a chatty mood and my dad (surprisingly) tried sushi! he once swore to me that he'd never in his life eat raw fish. but ha. look at him now.

afterwards we grabbed a coffee at starbucks nextdoor and took forever to say farewell. when my mom & dad left i had randall call wes & juju. this is where i turned into a cliched spoiled bitch.

originally juju and i said we'd hang out. only we were supposed to hang out earlier in the evening rather than later. she thought we could do cake in high places. i was pretty excited about that idea. but when we got out of dinner both randall and i were stuffed like pigs. cake at that moment sounded awful, but hanging out sounded nice. only i didn't want to make the decision. i wanted them to make the decision.

they thought we could eat cake tomorrow night after the restauranteers outing, only i knew that i was going to be even more stuffed then than i was at the moment. so how would that change anything? and inside my brain, i really don't want cake tomorrow. my birthday is the 12th, not the 13th. but for some unknown reason i didn't want to say anything. i just wanted someone else to make the decision for me. only i wanted it to be a decision that i liked. going home did not sound like fun, and besides i thought juju said we were going to hang out. so i pouted.

irrational? yes, i know.
typical of me? unfortunately, probably.

when we got home randall came over and hugged me, but i was more frustrated at myself than him, and i didn't feel like talking. i was also upset that that meant no stupid candles. which made me more upset thinking that he would probably not even realize that. i barely hugged back.

after a little while i decided to make myself more miserable. i decided to clean the bathroom. it's been disgusting for a while (one of the sinks has been clogged for a while and was starting to get out of hand). i kept saying i was going to clean it, but never got around to it. i sort of kept hoping it would just clean itself. it never did so i decided to just do it. randall asked me if i had to do that right then. i said yes. he said why, i said, well its got to get done sometime and besides it's not like we're doing anything else tonite. i think this pissed him off slightly. i think he was mad that i didn't say i wanted to do something else so how should he know? the thing is i didn't know what i wanted to do.

i do know that it wasn't cleaning the bathroom. but no other plan came up and i was just angry. cleaning the bathroom at least kept my mind preoccupied. it took over an hour to clean, i even scrubbed the floor.

i can't believe i just spent my birthday (which happens to be a SATURDAY NIGHT) cleaning my bathroom. i guess this is what i get for not planning anything.

sidenote: yes i know i'm petty. i don't mean to be, sorry.

sidenote2: no photos yet. cingular changed stuff around again. bah. i'll post them later.

Posted by pocketpig at March 12, 2005 11:43 PM


Total should have come to the neighborhood, where there is plenty of cake to be had. So sad. And kind of scary that I could see myself doing almost the same thing (esp. with cleaning the bathroom). Poor Jorn and Randall.

Posted by: Samshrew at March 13, 2005 09:39 AM

psh you know like one year on my birthday i had to do slave labor in the backyard so there. beat that

Posted by: bao at March 16, 2005 10:19 AM

I'm so sorry! And, pouty, maybe, but it's your birthday! Everyone wants, secretly, to be fussed over or noticed on their birthday... it's somehow human nature. I'm just sorry my computer hasn't worked in a week, and I missed your birthday! Well, "Happy" Birthday anyway... for what it's worth. Planning things out NEVER works with me and my friends... NEVER. The best times come when we PLAN to do nothing and at the last minute decide to go crazy and do something. Not that there is anything crazy to do around here...

Posted by: Else at March 17, 2005 07:06 PM

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